How I got started with Lotus Notes
Category Let me out!
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One day I was walking down the main corridor of F Building at IBM North Harbour when a firm hand grabbed me from behind and pressed a damp chloroform cloth against my mouth. I struggled for a few moments and then passed out.
I awoke to find myself lying on the floor of a small, glass-walled comms room with a banging headache. "Nothing new there", I thought to myself. The only other things in the room were a pile of straw, a spinning wheel and a small yellow box.
From a speaker in the wall a voice demanded that I spin the straw into a Notes Server by morning or I'd be executed. What was I going to do? I didn't know one end of a TCP from the other! Just as I was about to give up hope an IBM Dwarf appeared in the room and offered to show me how to spin the straw into a server in exchange for my watch. The following day the dwarf returned and took my walkman. This happened for several days until I thought, "Sod this for a laugh", beat up the dwarf, stole his pointy hat, married the princess and lived happily ever after.
And that's how I got started with Notes...
Bookmark :
One day I was walking down the main corridor of F Building at IBM North Harbour when a firm hand grabbed me from behind and pressed a damp chloroform cloth against my mouth. I struggled for a few moments and then passed out.
I awoke to find myself lying on the floor of a small, glass-walled comms room with a banging headache. "Nothing new there", I thought to myself. The only other things in the room were a pile of straw, a spinning wheel and a small yellow box.
From a speaker in the wall a voice demanded that I spin the straw into a Notes Server by morning or I'd be executed. What was I going to do? I didn't know one end of a TCP from the other! Just as I was about to give up hope an IBM Dwarf appeared in the room and offered to show me how to spin the straw into a server in exchange for my watch. The following day the dwarf returned and took my walkman. This happened for several days until I thought, "Sod this for a laugh", beat up the dwarf, stole his pointy hat, married the princess and lived happily ever after.
And that's how I got started with Notes...
Comments
Posted by Ben Langhinrichs At 12:49:38 On 11/04/2008 | - Website - |
I was at IBM at the time and remember the incident well. We'd started to notice that systems programmers had been going missing but had been told they'd gone on 'assignment' to Boulder. Little did we know of the dark secrets hidden in the basement of F Building although, in hindsight, the increasingly large deliveries of straw should have made us suspicious.
The person you call the 'IBM Dwarf' was part of a team of sinister midgets who would stalk the corridors of North Harbour looking for victims. The chances are that you were abducted by two of the midgets, one standing on the shoulders of the other wearing a matrix style leather coat. We'd seen them hanging around in the corridor but thought nothing of it, what with the conga dancing streakers, bearded ladies and drooling Sales Executives we though wierdness was normal!
After you beat the midget, married the princess and lived happily ever after one of the midgets was so angry that, in his rage he stamped his right foot so far into the ground that it sank in up to his waist; then in a passion he seized the left foot with both hands and tore himself in two. Half of him still works for IBM Global Networks, the other half is a marketing executive for Lenovo.
Posted by Sinister Midget At 14:28:47 On 11/04/2008 | - Website - |
It wasn't until the early nineties that the herd was moved to IBM Hursley Park where they remain to this day.
HTH
Posted by Fabulous Red Alpaca At 15:00:39 On 11/04/2008 | - Website - |
Posted by Darren At 13:58:38 On 10/05/2008 | - Website - |
Posted by Trev At 15:58:33 On 21/05/2008 | - Website - |